It is idle to dread what you cannot avoid.

These words are definitely something my grandma lives by. I come from a very prideful family so I have a hard time showing tears. When I get sad about something I find someone to be pissed off at instead. However, I hold a lot of my emotions in and don't deal with them for awhile until something small happens and they all come pouring out at once. I'm trying to deal with this deployment as it happens. I want to confront my fears and sadness head on and have the emotion so I don't over dramatize something small. I'm going to start with the deployment chain. Most parents do it for their kids so they have a visual as to how long daddy is gone or until they will be home. I tried to do one for last deployment and stopped after two days because it was so depressing and it was all I was focusing on. I will conquer the deployment chain and embrace it. I know that at the end of deployment I will know how strong and independent I am and I will kick the chain's ass!